RECAP: Things Get Hot as Gwyneth Returns to Glee
For the second consecutive week Glee tackled a topic that seemed to dare parents nationwide to begin writing angry letters. Last time it was underage drinking - this week the kids of McKinley High got a lesson in the basics of sex, and "adult relationships," as Will calls them.
The episode begins with Emma presiding over the school's celibacy club. She advises Rachel and Quinn to "dig" abstinence. However, she's bummed when the celibacy charms she pushes on the kids don't go over so well. Students don't want to show off the lame jewelry, but in reality they're very green when it comes to sex. Substitute Holly Holiday (Gwyneth Paltrow) returns, and agrees to help educate the Gleeks about birds, and particularly what they like to do with bees. Of course, Queen Celibacy Emma is wholly against any type of sex ed, leading Holly to ask her if she's "some kind of crazy pope person."
Santana's feelings for Brittany heat up again, but Brit's not feeling sexy since she has a bun in the oven. Everyone freaks out, until they realize she doesn't know what she's talking about. Brit saw a stork build a nest on her roof, so naturally she thinks she's expecting.
Holly proceeds to get down to the dirty details with New Directions. "Sex: It's just like a hug... only wetter," she tells them. It quickly becomes Gwyneth Paltrow's show, as she sings "Do You Wanna Touch Me." It's faithful to the Joan Jett original, but never really takes hold. Fortunately, their sexy moves salvage the performance.
The Warblers practice a sexy tune of their own in anticipation of Regionals, and Blaine leads them in the Neon Trees song "Animal." They test their moves in front of their sister school, and the girls are sufficiently titillated. However, Blaine takes issue with Kurt's "sexy" face. It's misinformed and weird. He goes to Kurt's dad in his auto garage, imploring him to talk to his son about being responsible as he comes of age. Ironically, there's a sign that reads "Hummel Tire and Lube" on the wall. Burt Hummel handles the talk with grace as usual, and after later giving Kurt some pamphlets on homosexual "mechanics," he cements himself again as one of the show's most authentic and morally sound characters.
Holly sits Brit and Santana down and gets them to work through their feelings for each other. They agree to sing out their feelings, and the three of them do a beautiful, country-tinged version of the Fleetwood Mac classic "Landslide." Meanwhile, Will enlists Holly for his song: Prince's classic ode to erotica, "Kiss." They proceed to do a sexy tango, and while they don't reach the funky heights of the Purple One, it's still hot. With their last step they fall towards each other, lips locking. She tells him that he can't handle her.
Next, the celibacy club returns with Carl (John Stamos). They sing "Afternoon Delight" in front of a display of ice cream and tasty treats. The whole getup is so saccharine it would make the Brady Bunch look licentious. And for good reason- Apparently Emma thinks that the tune dedicated to "nooners" is all about sneaking out in the middle of the day to enjoy dessert in secret. Carl approaches Holly for help in getting Emma to break out of her childish mindset. She agrees, only to learn that they've been married for four months and haven't had sex yet. She asks Emma flat out if she's still in love with Will Schuester, and she admits to being confused. Carl (unbelievably) says that he also had his suspicions, and calmly walks out, headed for the nearest hotel.
Santana tells Brit that she loves her and wants to be with her, but is scared of the social stigma. Brit is touched, but reveals that she's still in love with Artie. Lauren finally kisses Puck and joins the rapidly popular celibacy club, where Quinn's hickey is discovered. (She's been hooking up with Finn).
Holly finds Will to say goodbye. She's on to the next substitute job, but gets thrown for a loop when they continue to fall for each other. They make out as the episode comes to a close. It looks like we haven't seen the end of Ms. Paltrow on Glee for now.
NEXT WEEK: Glee reaches another milestone, as the group performs their own original material.
Justin Starling (@CitadelNow) for Citadel Digital © 2011