ALL THINGS GLEE
RECAP: Glee's "Never Been Kissed" Episode
The latest episode starts off with Finn and Sam bonding over the fact that they're dating two of the hottest girls in school that unfortunately won't put out. To cope, Finn announces he just keeps his cool by thinking of a good buzzkill, in his case the time he accidentally ran down a civil servant in his car. Sam doesn't have one, until he sees Coach Bieste diggin at a tough wedgie.
Puck begins to help out Artie, but only because he managed to get early leave from juvey for committing to community service. Meanwhile, the crux of tonight's show came as Sam was making out with Quinn. He gets lost in the passion and utters "Bieste," the name of the female football coach, in order to keep his cool. Quinn gets weirded out and goes to who else- Sue Sylvester, who again sees this as a way to get her rival coach out of the school.
Meanwhile, the boys take on a traditionally female song because Will has separated the glee club into boys and girls, but first Artie and Puck show off their new friendship by busking on the school grounds with a nice rendition of Reggae legend Bob Marley's "One Love." Afterward, Artie reveals he wants Brittany back, so Puck convinces him to take their busking money and go out on a double date with him and Santana.
Kurt, feeling as ostracized as ever, finds a new friend in Blaine (Dalton Criss) when he visits the glee club of the rival Dalton Academy. There, he instantly feels accepted. Meeting a cute guy also helps, and to boot Blaine leads the school's glee club, the Warblers, into a whipped up version of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." The scene is kinda strange because the Warblers are wearing these odd coats, and it kind of looks like a lost scene from Slytherin house in the Harry Potter series or something. Still, the guys get it done, and it bounces with a feel good vibe.
Next, Mike and Tina get together, though she gets surprised when he calls out Bieste's name as well. Quinn confronts Sam about it, and she forces Coach Bieste on him in the hallway. The whole scene gets very Three's Company and then Will comes in and gets all Mr. Roper on everyone. Problem Solved. Or is it?
Anyway, Will won't have any of it. In the next scene, Kurt sits down with the Dalton guys, who are surprisingly good-natured. Kurt meekly asks if they're all gay because of how emotionally connected they are, but Blaine laughs, admitting that he's the only one. The others have girlfriends. Everyone, however, subjects to a zero tolerance policy on harassment. Kurt is kinda stunned, so Blaine has a word with him alone and tells him to step up to it, even though he ran away and attended Dalton. "Prejudice is just ignorance," he says. He tells Kurt to "confront them," and "call them out." But Kurt just looks pretty blown away by how free these people are.
Side Note: Brittany is easily the funniest character on Glee right now. Her one liners are few and far between, but always priceless. In the next scene the girls assemble to practice, and Puck and Artie manage to guile their way into more dates with Brittany and Santana.
Coach Bieste talks to Will about whether his Glee kids are respecting her. He finally breaks down, telling her the truth about the boys' ill fantasies. She takes it personally, though. "Very personally," she says flatly, and storms off.
Later at Breadsticks, the group's fave restaurant, Puck tells the double date party about his time in Juvey, regaling them with some lame tales about waffles. He then gets all saucy and suggests a dine and dash. Instead, Artie foots the bill, and shows some good judgment. Puck burns him and is like, "Fine, then I'm taking these ladies home with me."
Will meets up with Sue in the auditorium where she informs him that New Directions' antics have prompted Coach Bieste to quit. Outside in the hallway, Kurt gets slammed into the lockers for the thousandth time. Dazed at first, he steels himself and goes after the jock, finally confronting him in the locker room. At every threat, Kurt comes back at him, even arguing that he "couldn't beat the gay out of me any more than I could beat the ignoramus out of you." They kiss, and the confused jock gets all aggro and punches a locker before running away. And Kurt's emotional roller coaster keeps rolling forward.
Puck's community service comes into question, and he storms off all upset. Then, Blaine accompanies Kurt to pay a visit to their confused jock friend, and he again gets forceful with them as they affirm him. He runs away. "Well he's not coming out anytime soon," Blaine laments.
Next Will talks to Coach Bieste again, saying that New Directions actually does respect her, and they think she's a great coach. However, she's even more distraught than ever, revealing, like Kurt, that she's unlucky and love and never been kissed. Will gives her a nice Family House style pep talk and gives her a kiss for good measure.
Later, Artie and Puck become actual friends, and Kurt gets shoved into his locker again by his closet friend, and the boys make nice for Coach Bieste with their performance of Stop! In The Name Of Love, in blue vintage suits complete with bowtie ensemble. It's all a very cute ending to an otherwise very serious episode.
Gwyneth Paltrow's appearance on Glee approaches. Read up more on her appearance here. Listen to all of the tracks from Glee's "Never Been Kissed" episode, plus check out video of "Teenage Dream"
Justin Starling (@CitadelNow) for Citadel Digital © 2010